Overwatch is finally out and people are already finding their favorite characters. You’ve seen teammates choose Genji when the team status bar clearly states that a healer is needed. Why do people keep doing that? Take a look below for what your favorite Overwatch character says about you.
Genji: Players that opt for Genji are emotional. They lead with their hearts and are easily excited. When players pick Genji, they’re so excited by the sword on his back that they don’t even realize he barely uses it. Genji players want to be the hero, even if they aren’t the most prepared (or have the most HP). In football, the person that keeps choosing Genji plays tight end while wearing a quarterback’s pads. Most Genji guys and girls aren’t very good, but the smart ones are spectacular.
McCree: McCree players have cool heads, good looks, and smooth voices. Their fashion sense is a little off, but they’re so suave that you don’t even notice. The only immediate flaw with players that choose McCree is that they’re occasionally unpredictable. You might think everything is fine one moment, but then the next you’re experiencing the wildest outburst imaginable before you can even utter “high noon.”
Pharah: Pharah players want to choose Pharah, or do they want to choose Reaper or Winston? I’m not sure. They’ll spend all day looking to the clouds without accomplishing much. The only way to get a Pharah player to do something is to accuse them of being wishy-washy. Even then, Pharah players are only a minor annoyance. They’re convinced when that when they grow up, they’ll finally be taken seriously and maybe they’re right.
Reaper: Reaper players know how to party. They’re always listening to music, going out, and hooking up. Surprisingly, Reaper players are friends with everyone. They’re great at fitting into any crowd and they know everyone. Oh, you know that Reaper player too? Man, he knows everyone. You think he’s planning something? No, he couldn’t be…No way.
Soldier 76: Players that favor Soldier 76 are all business. They went to good schools and got good grades. They’re goal-oriented and always choose the best way to do something. Unfortunately, they’re a little privileged. They have options for any scenario, but rarely think about their impact on the team or the world around them. Don’t feel bad about choosing Soldier 76, it’s a good life. Start your kids out with a hero like him and they’ll be set for life.
Tracer: SHE’S ON THE COVER, I GOTTA PICK HER! I can be your hero, baby! TRACERTRACERTRACER!! Have you SEEN my hair and my goggles and my jacket and my boots and my hair and my boots and my goggles and my hair and my GUN and my OTHER GUN! Don’t worry everyone, THE CAVALRY IS HERE!…. Hey, everyone? Where did everyone go?
Bastion: Bastion players have been playing video games for a long time. They chose Charmander as their first Pokémon and think Skyrim is the best game of all time. They don’t understand why everyone else isn’t doing the same thing that they are. Bastion players’ biggest vice is that they’re very stuck in their ways. Occasionally, entirely immobile and unwilling to compromise. Bastion players are so stubborn, they’re the kind of people you’ll find drinking iced coffees in the coldest of winters.
Hanzo: If you choose Hanzo, you’re probably the artsy type. Hanzo players take all forms of creative expression very seriously. Whether it be a painting or a doodle, a novel or a tweet, Hanzo players think carefully about their craft. It’s hard to tell whether or not their success is deserved, or founded on dumb luck. One thing is for sure, Hanzo players are gentle and it’s hard not to like them.
Junkrat: Junkrat players get upgraded to first class on their flights, are constantly bumping into celebrities, and have the best photos on Facebook. They’re unbelievably hot, insanely lucky and got an amazing job straight out of college. While they are BEGGING you not to like them, it’s not a bad idea to have one as a friend. If you’re a Junkrat player, know that most of your friends have a crush on you.
Mei: At some point in their lives, everyone has loved a Mei player. They’re so sweet and see life as a world of rainbows and sunshine. Mei players have read Pride and Prejudice and loved it immediately. They don’t particularly excel at any given task, but they’re reliable friends and always a strong wall to lean on. Mei players have long-lasting relationships and, if you’re lucky enough to nab one, will be great partners.
Torbjörn: Players that pick Torbjörn are talented people. They’re artists, writers, builders and athletes. They have shelves of trophies, but are always humble in victory. Unfortunately, Torbjörn players limit themselves. If Michael Jordan had never stopped playing baseball and ignored his insane talent in basketball, that would be a move a lot of Torbjörn players would make. They’re your immensely gifted that completely lacks direction. Give Torbjörn’s a plan, and they’ll be indispensable.
Widowmaker: People who play Widowmaker are “always the bridesmaid, never the bride.” They flirt with everyone and, no matter how far away you think you are, they always manage to find a way back into your life. They hang out in a lot of different circles, but don’t have a lot of close friends. Above all else, Widowmaker players are convinced that if they were just given one shot, they would absolutely kill it. Unfortunately, everyone else thinks they just need to take a deep breath.
D.Va: D.Va players are the mothers of the group. They have everything in their purses or backpacks, they’re prepared for any situation, and they’re smart. They’ll do anything to protect their friends, but they most often function as a driver. D.Va players are always nice to have around, but sometimes you think they’re judging you. Sure you aren’t as prepared for the dangers of life as they are, but who could be?
Reinhardt: Reinhardt players hate their team. They’re the middle school teachers of the bunch, dealing with an annoying gaggle of goobers and doing all the heavy lifting. When mom (D.Va players) asks, “Whose turn is it to take out the trash?” Reinhardt players know that it doesn’t matter whose turn it is, they will be the ones taking out the trash. But really, they probably ARE the best ones for the job. They get a lot done, but are severely underappreciated. If you know any Reinhardt players, show them some love.
Roadhog: Roadhog players are hard to find these days. They are old souls, capable of taking care of themselves without any complaining. Roadhog players love independence. Unlike Soldier 76 players, Roadhoggers find creative ways to deal with whatever situation presents itself. They’re one vice is that they might be tough to a fault. A Roadhog player needs to know when to be told when to stop, but oddly, isn’t interested in any accolades. Players who choose Roadhog are all guts, no glory.
Winston: Winston players are very down-to-Earth and rational. People are quick to come to Winston players for advice and opinions concerning hot-button topics. A Winston player’s biggest concern is that they are boring, but luckily for them, that isn’t the case. They don’t mix well with Pharah players.
Zarya: It’s hard to know much about Zarya players because they’re so intimidating. They’re aggressively cool, so cool that we probably shouldn’t be talking about them behind their backs. Maybe if you see one, you just keep your head down, they are way out of your league.
Lúcio: You know those people that are always smiling? They’re always greeting people with high-fives and tight hugs, those are Lúcio players. Lúcio players were the first ones to talk to girls, hit the dance floor, and make the varsity football team. It’s unclear how talented Lúcio players actually are… But come on, how could you ever say no to them?!
Mercy: Mercy players love the word “aesthetic.” They don’t know what it means, but they love it. They put the best photos on Instagram and, even though they don’t have that many friends, always get thousands of likes. Mercy players make people happy, but would probably go crazy if they were left alone. Mercy players especially love the company of players that choose Zenyatta.
Symmetra: Symmetra players are smart in ways that those who choose other heroes don’t understand. Outside of the usual markers of intelligence, Symmetra players are excellent problem solvers. They think outside of the box and leave those that get in their way completely stupefied. A Symmetra player’s greatest strength is that they have a deep understanding of people. While this has made them good at predicting outcomes in social situations, sadly, it has also made them quite bitter and curmudgeonly.
Zenyatta: Zenyatta players have beards and wear beanies. They have many tools to take care of their beards and, well, just have a ton of different beanies. Don’t bother looking Zenyatta players up on Facebook, they aren’t there. Try Tumblr! You wouldn’t think a Zenyatta player was trying to hurt anybody, but their poetry is a little scary. While many may ask, “what’s their deal?” Zenyatta players would reply, “But what really IS a deal?”
That is all 21 heroes! Which character are you most like? Sound off in the comments below and let me know if you recognize any of the characters I described!